Halloween thoughts
by Madd Aless
Summary: Sam POV  Based on comments in the Pilot with vague references to later occurrences.


Halloween Thoughts (Sam POV)

Spoilers: Based on comments in the Pilot with vague references to later occurrences.

Disclaimer: The supernatural characters are not mine:

SPSPSPSPSP

Sam hated Halloween. He had since he was little.

Sam hated anything that reminded him of his past, that unsafe life he'd once led.

This year was in some ways the best and the worst at the same time. He'd gotten away from hunting, left it behind, was safe here at Stanford. Now if only the nightmares would go away, nightmares of Jessica burning on the ceiling just like he'd always been told Mom's death had occurred.

Mom's death just two days after Halloween had always been the reason given for why they hunted. They hunted those things that most people believed didn't exist but always dressed up like on Halloween. Ghost, witches, zombies, and other things that should be urban legends but weren't.

Sam had grown up hunting those things after he'd learned the truth about what his Dad did. The truth about why they moved so often. Why he was always stuck being the new kid at school. Too often he'd wound up being called a freak, when he or more often Dean would accidently let slip how much they knew or could do. Sam knew the weapons training had been to try and keep them safe, but why couldn't they just have stayed safe by avoiding the dangers? It worked.

The last four years had proven that if you left the supernatural alone it would leave you alone. But could his father ever give up his crusade? No, his father insisted on trying to find the thing that had killed mom when he was a baby. Never staying anywhere long, always moving on, hunting and killing what they could find, but never killing or even finding the one thing that could make all the effort, pain, and danger worth it and maybe even finally end the hunt.

He had been injured countless times, Dean and Dad as well, but still they kept hunting. Kill or be killed. Sam couldn't understand it. The thrill and sense of purpose they seemed to derive from hunting unless it was the adrenaline rush they got while killing things. They were constantly in danger, living on the edge of society and often breaking the law, especially to fund that dangerous lifestyle. Sam sometimes considered his dad an addict with his addiction being hunting. He was so blinded by his need for revenge, Sam had never been able to understand it how could someone hate that much, for that long.

That part of his life was over now, part of his past, but he still disliked Halloween and its reminders even after four years away from his Dad and brother.

He missed his brother, he missed Dean. Sam knew he'd been disowned. He had accepted it as the price of safety. His choice, his decision, for a while he had been lonely his brother had always been his best friend as well as his protector. Luckily he'd met Brady and others after a few weeks, he had made good friends, better yet Brady had introduced him to Jessica.

Now he had most of what he'd always wanted. He lived in the same place all the time. He had friends and especially a girlfriend. He was loved and respected something he'd always wanted. He was on his way to a decent career, one that was safe and on the right side of the law. Maybe one day could even use the law to protect his brother because sooner or later he figured the law would catch up to them. It would be great to be able to help Dean and maybe Dad as well. Dean had always watched over him even when he didn't really want it, well someday soon he'd be able to help Dean in return.

Sam heard Jess call from the other room, "Sam, get a move on would ya…"

Oh yeah that stupid Halloween party they were going to. She teased him about his lack of costume when he entered the room, but there was no way he was going to dress up. He reminded her, "You know I feel about Halloween."

Late that night after the party, Dean would break in to get his help.

Sam didn't know it but that decision to help would change his life forever. Soon he would return to the hunting lifestyle, caught in the web of lies, scams, and revenge that he tried so hard to escape.

He didn't know it yet, but just after this Halloween his past would catch up with him shattering the illusion of safe. His life was about to begin its spiral out of control towards distrust, death, and despair in a hunt for revenge and then redemption; a life of horrors.

Halloween with its false horrors for fun, no wonder he'd always hated it. Horror would once again be his way of life. The pain and danger of the supernatural trying to steer his destiny. His future where hunting and the 'family business' would once again be the way of his life and most days would resemble the worst of the Halloween and its horrors.

Soon Sam would discover his recent nightmares had not been tangled dreams of the past but horrific visions of his future. Eventually he'd discover that the supernatural world had never really let him go in spite of the illusion of safety he'd enjoyed the last four years, it had big plans for him.

But for now though his biggest concerns were the interview on Monday and if Jessica would accept his proposal.

So Sam looked forward to Halloween being over, unaware of the future, unaware of the drastic change that would soon steer his life back into hunting. Maybe others could enjoy scary things and laugh at the idea of witches, ghosts, and such.

He'd learned the truth young, maybe too young, and the truth was monsters were real.

He might have escaped hunting and the dangers and horrors of that life but that didn't mean he could forget they existed or would willingly celebrate Halloween.

SPSPSPSPSP

A/N Just needed a bit of the old Sammy when his greatest problem was hating hunting and what went with it.


End file.
